Top Story – Bad lip syncing –
Two Chinese pop singers face fines of up to $12,000 (£7,400) for allegedly miming at a concert. Miming was banned in China after a girl was revealed to have lip-synced at the 2008 Beijing Olympics opening ceremony.
Top Stories – Hope for Haiti raises $57 million –
Organisers of last nights “Hope for Haiti Now” telethon say it has raised more than $57m (£35m) for the victims of the Haiti earthquake.
The event set a new record for disaster relief telethons, according to Lisa Paulsen, head of the Entertainment Industry Foundation. Many stars donated including Madonna who gave $250,000 (£155,000), Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie gave $1m (£620,000) and supermodel Giselle Bundchen gave $1.5m (£0.93m). George Clooney who organised the event donated $1m during the telethon. Giselle Bundchen
Itchy and scratchy –
Research carried out by the University of Worcester has discovered that Britons are likely to be sleeping under duvets which are full dust mites and dead skin. Tests carried out on 10 duvets at the University of Worcester found they held up to 20,000 live house dust mites. House dust mite – dermatophagoides pteronyssinus
One in the eye –
The Black Eyed Peas were the victims of an error when they were mistakenly named best international group at France’s top music awards, the NRJ Awards in Cannes. The stars were originally declared winners but it was later revealed that an error had been made and German band Tokio Hotel were announced as the real victors. The Black Eyed Peas Tokio Hotel
Top Stories – Chinese football bribe allegations –
According to the Oriental Morning Post, a bribe of 200,000 yuan (£18,000) could get a Chinese footballer a call-up to play for his country in an international match. The allegations come weeks after the head of the Chinese Football Association and two other officials were sacked and questioned by police over match-fixing.
Google gets social –
Google launches ‘Social Search’, which allows those users who are logged into a Google account to call up photos or other information from their friends on their social networks which are relevant to their search query.
Most expensive racetrack opens –
The Meydan racehorse track in Dubai today hosts its first race today a Group Three event worth £74,000 to the winner as its feature event. The biggest and most expensive track in history has taken 34 months and at least $1.25bn to build and was paid for by the ruler of Dubai Sheikh Mohammed.
Future arrests –
A former trader at Royal Bank of Scotland becomes the first UK banker to be arrested on suspicion of rigging the £3.5 trillion a day foreign exchange market. Six banks, including RBS and HSBC, were fined a total of £2.6 billion by UK and US regulators last month for the role they played in fixing the futures market.
Sir Elton John and David Furnish marry –
Sir Elton John and David Furnish have married at a ceremony, 9 years to the day after they had a civil partnership ceremony in Windsor’s Guildhall. David and Victoria Beckham, musician Ed Sheeran and actor David Walliams were among the guests at the wedding at the couple’s house, also in Windsor. Elton John
Billie Whitelaw dies –
Actress Billie Whitelaw has died aged 82. Her film career started in 1954 in The Sleeping Tiger and last appeared in 2007 in the iconic Hot Fuzz alongside Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.
Sony hack an act of terrorism? –
President Barack Obama says the US is considering putting North Korea back on its list of terrorism sponsors after the hacking of Sony Pictures.
Smithy OBE –
It’s announced that James Corden known for his role as Smithy in Gavin and Stacey, presenting Sky TV’s In A League of Their Own and now taking on hosting The Late Late Show in the US is to receive an OBE (Order of the British Empire) gong for his charitable work. Ruth Jones & James Corden
Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton separate –
Helena Bonham Carter has announces that she has split from the film director Tim Burton after 13 years together and having 2 children. Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter
Gloves off –
In the US Amazon and Walmart sell out of DVDs of Team America which parodied the former North Korea leader Kim Jong-il. The reason? Another film – The Interview – is about to get its cinema release after a major hacking situation at Sony. President Obama apparently approves of the delayed Christmas Day premiere. Kim Song, a North Korean diplomat to the United Nations, called the movie an ‘unpardonable mockery of our sovereignty and dignity of our supreme leader.’
Cash grab –
In Hong Kong a van carrying HK$35m – about $4.5m or £3m – in used notes crashed on a motorway – cue dozens leaving their cars and grabbing a bundle. About HK$15 disappeared.
You’d let him win wouldn’t you? –
Prince Harry led his Sandringham workers team to a 7-2 victory in a football (soccer) match against local villagers in Scotland sponsored by the Black Horse Inn. Top royal endorsement. Prince Harry
Shaken and stirred –
In Russia vodka prices have been rising so much that President Vladimir Putin calls on his government to curb price rises on the spirit. Half a litre costs 220 roubles (about $4.10)
Feel good moment –
A homeless man is given $100 and hidden cameras follow him into a liquor store where he buys food which he shares with other homeless people. 12 million hits on YouTube (see Video of the Day)
Pub crawl goes viral –
And a fancy dress pub crawl in Old Conwyn, North Wales featuring made up props from the classic BBC comedy show Only Fools and Horses went viral(ish) on YouTube
Royal wedding – well close –
Celebrity couple Marian Rivera and Dingdong Yantes get married at the Immaculate Concepcion Cathedral of Cubao in Quezon City, Philippines. Dingdong Yantes and Marian Rivera
WBA knock out –
Alan Irvine becomes the second managerial casualty of the English Premier League season as West Bromwich Albion fire him after 7 months in charge. Alan Irvine
Bad pirates –
Figures from TorrentFreak.com show that Game of Thrones was the most pirated TV in 2014 with over 8.1 million illegal downloads. See list of the day. Peter Dinklage
Nut incident exec arrested –
Cho Hyun-ah, a former Korean Air executive who delayed a plane over how nuts were served has been detained shortly after a court in South Korea granted a warrant for her arrest. [see original story December 8th 2014]
Hanging around –
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (@GovChristie) was left hanging after a Dallas Cowboys win on Sunday, when his high-5 appeal was ignored. Political commentators have decided that it will damage his chances of becoming a Republican presidential candidate.
Google extends Chromecast to audio –
The Chromecast dongle is now able to plug into amplifiers and powered speakers to “cast” music from any music app. Similar to the video service, users use their phone to control the music, which is then played directly through the speaker from a wi-fi router. Apps already compatible include Deezer, Google Play Music, iHeartRadio, NPR One, Pandora, Rdio and TuneIn. Spotify is currently included.
Ghost in the Shell –
Scarlett Johansson to play Motoko Kusanagi in the film version of Ghost in the Shell Scarlett Johansson
Greek parties form anti-austerity coalition –
The winner of yesterday’s election in Greece, the far-left Syriza party won 149 seats, just two short of an absolute majority. It has formed an anti-austerity coalition right-wing party, the Greek Independents led by Panos Kammenos. Panos Kammenos, leader of the Greek Independents
Greek F-16 crashes at Spanish airbase –
A Greek F-16 jet “lost power” during take-off at the Los Llanos airbase in Albacete in central Spain and crashed into a number of parked planes and ground crew. Ten people have died including the two pilots of the plane.
Demis Roussos dies –
Demis Roussos, a Greek singer who sold more than 60 million albums worldwide most during the 1970s and 1980s has died aged 68 in Athens. He was best known for solo hits including Forever and Ever, Goodbye and Quand je t’aime as well as writing the soundtrack to the film Abigail’s party.
Costa Concordia captain convicted of manslaughter –
The captain of the Costa Cordordia cruise ship that ran aground and capsized on January 13th 2012 off the island of Giglio has been convicted of manslaughter and given a 16-year jail sentance. Francesco Schettino was accused of taking the ship too close to the shore to impress his lover, Domnica Cemortan, who was with him at the helm. He then abandoned the ship with passengers and crew still on board. 32 people died in the accident but Costa Crociere, the company that owned the ship, avoided possible criminal charges by agreeing to pay a $1.3m (€1.1m; £860,000) fine in 2013. The Costa Concordia after the accident
Korean Air nut rage ends with jail sentence –
A South Korean court finds Cho Hyun-ah (aka Heather Cho) a former executive of Korean Air guilty of breaking aviation law. She forced her Seoul-bound plane to turn back to the gate at JFK airport in New York and offload a steward because she did not like the way she had been served nuts. Cho, the daughter of Korean Air president, was found guilty of obstructing aviation safety and jailed for one year, much less than the possible maximum sentence of 10-years.
Smoking in private cars with child passengers banned in England –
The British government votes 342 to 74 to ban smoking in cars when there are children in the vehicle in England and Wales, but doesn’t apply to convertibles with the roof down. Anyone stopped for breaking the law can be fined £50 on the spot when it becomes law in October 2015 but Scotland is not included. Bans on smoking in cars when children are present already exist in some US states as well as in parts of Canada and Australia.
Best photobomb ever? Seagull steals the show from Red Arrows display team –
An image that shows the latest addition to the world famous Red Arrows is a seagull has become an Internet hit. The amazing moment was captured by first year photography student Jade Coxon,18, as she took pictures at the Llandudno Air Show on 23 May. And, since posting the stunning snap online on Sunday, Jade is over the moon to have got more than 1 million views. The crisp pic clearly shows eight of the Red Arrows in tight formation trailing their famous vapour. But then where the ninth plane should be there is an intrepid seagull holding the formation in place and, amazingly, with his own vapour trail. [Daily Telegraph] Red-Arrows-and-seagull (Photo – SWNS Group)
Taylor Swift enters Forbes 100 most powerful women list –
The 25 year old singer and songwriter has become the youngest woman ever to be included on the Forbes list of The World’s 100 Most Powerful Women.
She’s included at number 64 in the list released on Tuesday because, Forbes says, she ‘has not only broken record sales and captivated the world with her fantastically honest lyrics, but she has proven herself as an impressive businesswoman.’ [Daily Mail] See List of the Day Taylor Swift
The Charlie Charlie Challenge – what is the spooky craze? –
A strange new game is taking over Twitter, fuelled by speculation that its players can connect with a dead Mexican spirit known as Charlie. The Charlie Charlie Challenge has been played by thousands of young people after a number of videos purported to show supernatural goings-on. The game entails placing two pencils on a piece of paper in the shape of the cross with the words ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Participants then repeat the phrase “Charlie, Charlie can we play?” in order to connect with the demon. If Charlie is there the pencils will move to indicate his answer. [Daily Telegraph] See Top Twitter Trends 25 May 2015
Video of the Day –
Are You Consuming Your Coffee Correctly?
List of the day –
Forbes Magazine 100 Most Powerful Women in the World 2015 [Forbes]
Millions of US government workers hit by data breach –
Chinese hackers are suspected of carrying out a “massive breach” affecting the data of millions of US government workers, officials said. The Office of Personnel Management (OPM) confirmed on Thursday that almost four million current and past employees have been affected. The breach could potentially affect every federal agency, officials said. Susan Collins, a member of the Senate Intelligence Committee, said it was thought to have originated in China. The Chinese embassy in Washington warned against “jumping to conclusions”. [BBC]
Tricky GCSE maths exam sees pupils take to Twitter –
A tricky GCSE maths question stumped thousands of students – but inspired them to take to Twitter to vent their anger and frustration. The equation in Thursday’s Edexcel exam was on the probability of taking two orange sweets from a bag. By the afternoon the topic was trending on Twitter and online petitions were set up calling on the board to lower the grade boundaries when marking. Edexcel’s owner Pearson said it aimed to “test the full range” of abilities. But it said it would ensure students were “treated fairly” when the papers are marked. [BBC] See Top Twitter Trends (UK)
Southampton footballers set new world record for longest match –
A new world record for the longest football match has been set at St Mary’s, the home of Southampton FC, after a 102 hour-long charity game. The 36 players, from the Testlands Support Project, a Southampton charity, played on until 00:30 BST on Friday to break the previous record, of 101 hours. The players took turns to take breaks to eat, get physiotherapy and sleep. They began the 11-a-side match at 18:30 on Sunday, scoring over 1,600 goals. The Reds went on to beat the Whites 910-725. [BBC]
Surprising pop star facts revealed by YouTube –
YouTube reveals statistics, usually only visible to those behind the scenes, showing some bizarre trends about the world’s biggest stars. They show that Taylor Swift is twice as popular in Bangkok in Thailand than New York, for example. Or that One Direction are huge in Quezon City, the Philippines, as well as Mexico City. The Artist Insights service was unveiled on Wednesday. Google says it means musicians will be able to see the cities where they have the largest number of fans. The records go back to September 2014 and include original versions of the artist’s videos as well as fan shares and re-uploads. [BBC Newsbeat] See List of the Day
‘Female Viagra’ to boost women’s libido one step closer –
The development of a pill to boost women’s libido is one step closer after an American panel recommended the approval of the female equivalent of Viagra. A panel of Food and Drug Administration (FDA) advisers has voted in favour of recommending flibanserin, a daily pill nicknamed the “female Viagra”. The recommendation will be seen as a major coup for campaigners who have fought for women’s sex drives to receive the same level of medical attention as men’s. The decision will now be passed to the FDA itself, which will rule on whether the pill will be officially approved for public use later this year. [Daily Telegraph]
The death toll from the sinking of the ship on the Yangtze River rises to 82 with officials giving up hope of finding more survivors. Only 15 out of over 450 people on the boat were rescued. (Sky News Australia)
Xavi departs from Barcelona by winning the Champions League again –
After playing his last game at the Nu Camp last month Xavi Hernandez played his 397th and final game for Barcelona in the Champions League Final. Barcelona beat Juventus 3-0 to secure a treble of victories following the La Liga and Copa del Rey successes. It is the fourth time Xavi has one the Champions League Title and was celebrated by his club in a tweet. See List of the Day Xavi Hernández
Frankie Dettori wins Epsom Derby on favourite Golden Horn –
Frankie Dettori capped his renaissance with a thrilling victory on favourite Golden Horn to win the 236th running of the Derby at Epsom. Dettori produced an ice-cool ride on the 13-8 favourite to beat his John Gosden-trained stablemate Jack Hobbs by three-and-a-half lengths, with Storm The Stars third. The 44-year-old jockey punched the air as he passed the line and did a trademark flying dismount in the winner’s enclosure. “It was unbelievable. The horse was brilliant,” said Dettori, riding for the first time in the race since returning from a six-month drugs ban two years ago. [BBC] Frakie Dettori
Kate Moss escorted off flight ‘for being disruptive’ –
Supermodel Kate Moss has been escorted off a plane at Luton airport after reportedly being disruptive. The Easyjet flight had arrived from Bodrum in Turkey on Sunday afternoon. In a statement, Bedfordshire Police said they “were called to assist staff in escorting a passenger from a flight arriving into Luton airport this afternoon”. No formal complaints were made against her and she was not arrested. [BBC] In February 2010 Calvin Klein said of Moss – while “a great model,” she was a “difficult” person to work with. Kate Moss with photographer Mario Testino
Bradley Wiggins breaks UCI Hour Record at Lee Valley Velopark –
Sir Bradley Wiggins has broken the iconic hour record by completing a distance of 54.526km (33.88 miles). The 35-year-old smashed the record previously held by fellow Briton Alex Dowsett of 52.937km (32.89 miles), which was set in May. Roared on by a capacity crowd at Lee Valley VeloPark in London, Wiggins became the sixth rider to claim a Tour de France title and the hour record. “I’m just glad it’s done. It was torturous,” he said.
“That’s the closest I have ever come to what it’s like to a have a baby,” Wiggins, who becomes the fifth person in the past nine months to break the record, joked. The multiple Olympic and world champion on track and road surpassed Dowsett’s 212 laps, set in Manchester, with 1min 42secs to spare and eventually completed 219 laps.[BBC] In January 2015, Wiggins launched his own cycling team, Team Wiggins, to compete in the 2016 Olympics in Brazil. Bradley Wiggins
Dame Helen Mirren reigns at Tony theatre awards –
Dame Helen Mirren has been named best actress in a play at the Tony theatre awards in New York. She took home the prize for her portrayal of the Queen in The Audience. Dame Helen, a previous Oscar-winner for The Queen, accepted the award saying: “Your Majesty, you did it again.” Other wins included Alex Sharp for best actor and Marianne Elliott for best directing of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, which was also named best play. [BBC] See List of the Day
Actor, Sir Christopher Lee dies, aged 93 –
See full story on June 11, 2015 when his death was announced. Sir Christopher Lee (1922-2015)
WINNER: Michael Cerveris, Fun Home Robert Fairchild, An American in Paris
Brian d’Arcy James, Something Rotten!
Ken Watanabe, The King and I
Tony Yazbeck, On the Town
Best leading actress in a musical
WINNER: Kelli O’Hara, The King and I Kristin Chenoweth, On the Twentieth Century
Leanne Cope, An American in Paris
Beth Malone, Fun Home
Chita Rivera, The Visit
Best leading actor in a play
WINNER: Alex Sharp, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time Steven Boyer, Hand to God
Bradley Cooper, The Elephant Man
Ben Miles, Wolf Hall Parts One & Two
Bill Nighy, Skylight
Best leading actress in a play
WINNER: Helen Mirren, The Audience Geneva Carr, Hand to God
Elisabeth Moss, The Heidi Chronicles
Carey Mulligan, Skylight
Ruth Wilson, Constellations
Best featured actor in a musical
WINNER: Christian Borle, Something Rotten! Andy Karl, On the Twentieth Century
Brad Oscar, Something Rotten!
Brandon Uranowitz, An American in Paris
Max von Essen, An American in Paris
Best featured actress in a musical
WINNER: Ruthie Ann Miles, The King and I Victoria Clark, Gigi
Judy Kuhn, Fun Home
Sydney Lucas, Fun Home
Emily Skeggs, Fun Home
Best featured actor in a play
WINNER: Richard McCabe, The Audience Matthew Beard, Skylight
K. Todd Freeman, Airline Highway
Alessandro Nivola, The Elephant Man
Nathaniel Parker, Wolf Hall Parts One & Two
Micah Stock, It’s Only a Play
Best featured actress in a play
WINNER: Annaleigh Ashford, You Can’t Take It With You Patricia Clarkson, The Elephant Man
Lydia Leonard, Wolf Hall Parts One & Two
Sarah Stiles, Hand to God
Julie White, Airline Highway
Best book of a musical
WINNER: Fun Home, Lisa Kron An American in Paris, Craig Lucas
Something Rotten!, Karey Kirkpatrick and John O’Farrell
The Visit, Terrence McNally
Best original score (music and/or lyrics) for the theatre
WINNER: Fun Home, Music: Jeanine Tesori, Lyrics: Lisa Kron The Last Ship, Music & Lyrics: Sting
Something Rotten!, Music & Lyrics: Wayne Kirkpatrick and Karey Kirkpatrick
The Visit, Music: John Kander, Lyrics: Fred Ebb
Best director of a play
WINNER: Marianne Elliott, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time Stephen Daldry, Skylight
Scott Ellis, You Can’t Take It With You
Jeremy Herrin, Wolf Hall Parts One & Two
Moritz von Stuelpnagel, Hand to God
Best director of a musical
WINNER: Sam Gold, Fun Home Casey Nicholaw, Something Rotten!
John Rando, On the Town
Bartlett Sher, The King and I
Christopher Wheeldon, An American in Paris
Best scenic design of a play
WINNER: Bunny Christie and Finn Ross, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time Bob Crowley, Skylight
Christopher Oram, Wolf Hall Parts One & Two
David Rockwell, You Can’t Take It With You
Best scenic design of a musical
WINNER: Bob Crowley and 59 Productions, An American in Paris David Rockwell, On the Twentieth Century
Michael Yeargan, The King and I
David Zinn, Fun Home
Voters in Turkey go to the polls for a general election with the ruling AKP seeking enough votes to enable them to change the constitution. However, early projections show that they will lose their majority in the new parliament. (BBC), (New York Times)
Sir Christopher Lee death announced –
In one of his final interviews, Sir Christopher Lee declared his intention never to retire. “When I die, I want to die with my boots on,” he said.
The actor remained true to his word. He was preparing for his latest film role – a drama called The 11th, co-starring Uma Thurman – when he died on Sunday morning [June 7, 2015] at London’s Chelsea and Westminster Hospital. Sir Christopher was one of the greats of the 20th century, but his career hit new heights in the last 15 years of his life. He will be best remembered by those of a certain age for playing Count Dracula in his Hammer Horror days, but to younger film fans he was a star of two of the biggest franchises ever made: Saruman in Lord of the Rings and Count Dooku in Star Wars. [Daily Telegraph] He appeared in over 200 films (See List of the Day) Sir Christopher Lee (1922-2015)
Female scientists post ‘distractingly sexy’ photos –
Female scientists have been sharing “distractingly sexy” photos of themselves after a feminist website encouraged them to respond to comments by a Nobel laureate. Nobel Prize winner Tim Hunt was roundly criticised when he detailed his thoughts about the “trouble with girls” at a conference of science journalists. “Three things happen when they are in the lab,” he said, “you fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticise them they cry.” He said his comments were meant to be “light-hearted, ironic comment”, but whatever the intention, it went over like a heavy metallic dirigible in a field with some widely acknowledged gender issues. Hunt has now resigned from his position at University College London. On Thursday the hashtag #DistractinglySexy began taking off, with more than 10,000 tweets in a matter of hours. [BBC Trending] See Top Twitter Trends (UK)
Video of the Day –
Saruman the White – from Lord of the Rings [from Youtube]
List of the Day –
Sir Christopher Lee film appearances (including voiceovers) [List from Wikipedia]
A rocket fired from the Gaza Strip towards the Ashkelon region fell short and did not land in Israel with Palestinian sources indicating it may have hit a house. There were no immediate reports of injuries, or claims of responsibility. (Times of Israel)
Federal Interior Ministry of Pakistan has sealed the offices of the NGO Save the Children in Pakistan and issued order for its foreign staff to leave the country within 15 days on account of the NGO’s anti-Pakistan activities. (Express Tribune).
Magna Carta changed the world, David Cameron tells 800 year anniversary event –
Magna Carta went on to change the world, Prime Minister David Cameron has said, at an ceremony in Surrey marking the 800th anniversary of the document that heralded modern democracy. The event at Runnymede, where King John sealed the original accord in 1215, was attended by the Queen and other royals. The Duke of Cambridge unveiled a commemorative art work at the site. Princess Anne rededicated the US memorial, saying Magna Carta “provides us with one of our most basic doctrines – that no person is above the law. “In recent history and even today we see in many parts of the world that power without the rule of law can lead to human suffering of terrible proportions. But it takes all of us to stand up for these principles.” [BBC] The Magna Carta (originally known as the Charter of Liberties) of 1215
Jess Glynne to have vocal surgery after pulling out of Isle of Wight Festival –
Jess Glynne has revealed she will undergo vocal cord surgery next week. The singer was forced to pull out of the weekend’s Isle of Wight Festival after consulting a doctor. She tweeted: “I am so so sad to tell you that I’m having to have vocal surgery next week” “I’m so sorry and it kills me but I have to cancel some forthcoming shows and festivals. I’m a little scared but I will be back singing better than ever very soon! Love hugs and kisses Jess.” Sam Smith had to pull out half way through his Australian tour in April after suffering haemorrhages on his vocal cords. [BBC Newsbeat]
Chicago Blackhawks take Stanley Cup in front of jubilant home crowd –
The Chicago Blackhaws defeated the Tampa Bay Lightning 2-0 Monday night to win their third Stanley Cup in six seasons. Chicago are the only team since the National Hockey League lockout in the 2004-05 season to win three Stanley Cups, tempting the modern ‘dynasty’ label. That will be left to history to decide for certain, but there was little question Monday night where the Cup belonged. It all amounted to the first Chicago Stanley Cup win on home ice since 1938, when the Cup itself wasn’t even present for the victory, as the league at that time didn’t think the Blackhawks could win. Despite a weather delay, the Cup finally made it to the United Center this time around, and was hoisted once again by captain Jonathan Toews. Jonathan Toews
Video of the Day –
WORLD RECORD Basketball Shot 126.5m (415 ft) – How Ridiculous
Chris Evans to be new Top Gear presenter –
TV and radio personality Chris Evans will replace Jeremy Clarkson as the lead presenter of an all-new Top Gear line-up, the BBC has announced. Evans said he was “thrilled” to get the job, describing the motoring show as his “favourite programme of all time”. “I promise I will do everything I possibly can to respect what has gone on before and take the show forward,” he added. Clarkson was dropped in March after punching a producer while on location. Chris Evans (L) with Joss Stone
Foo Fighters cancel Glastonbury gig –
Rock group Foo Fighters have cancelled their headline slot at this year’s Glastonbury Festival. The announcement comes four days after frontman Dave Grohl fell off stage at a concert in Sweden, fracturing his leg. June dates in Belgium, and at Edinburgh’s Murrayfield Stadium and London’s Wembley Stadium have also been cancelled. Grohl apologised to fans, saying it was “just not physically possible” for him to perform at the moment.
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), which is a part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), issues a mandate that all trans fatty acids (trans fats) must be eliminated, within three years (2018) from all foods grown, imported to, or sold within the United States. It is the strictest and most final type of ruling, even more so than a black-box warning or a warning to list ingredients, that can be given from the federal agency, which has ultimate jurisdiction over the safety of all food and drug products, public or private, in the United States. The substances occur in processed meats and other foods, and have been repeatedly implicated in atherosclerotic coronary heart disease, diabetes, and some cancers. (MSN), (Washington Post),(CNN Money), (FDA’s statement)
Angolan capital remains ‘most expensive city’ for expats –
The Angolan capital, Luanda, remains the world’s most expensive city for expatriates, according to an annual survey by consultancy Mercer. The city has held the number one spot for the past three years because of the high cost of rent, imported goods and security in the oil-rich nation. However, the rest of the cost of living rankings saw significant shifts due to exchange rate fluctuations. Asian cities now account for half of the top 10 costliest destinations. Hong Kong rose to second place and Singapore remained in fourth because of their expensive property and rental markets. Shanghai, Beijing and Seoul also made the top 10. [BBC] See List of the Day
Madonna premieres star-studded ‘Bitch I’m Madonna’ video on Tidal –
Madonna has unveiled her new video – complete with cameo appearances by Beyonce, Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry – on the new streaming service [launched in March] she runs with stars including Jay Z and Kanye West. The video for Bitch I’m Madonna, from her well-received Rebel Heart album, will be shown exclusively on the Tidal service for 24 hours before being released to the wider public. The line-up on the video, which was filmed in New York, also includes Nicki Minaj, new X Factor judge Rita Ora, Chris Rock and Madonna’s sons Rocco and David. [Daily Telegraph] See Video of the Day Madonna
South Carolina church shooting: Nine die in Charleston ‘hate crime’ –
Nine people have died in a shooting at a historic African-American church in Charleston in the US state of South Carolina, officials say. City police chief Gregory Mullen said eight of the victims were killed inside the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church on Wednesday evening, while another person died shortly afterwards. Police are now searching for a white male suspect in his 20s. [BBC]
Video of the Day –
TIDAL | Madonna ft. Nicki Minaj | Bitch I’m Madonna Behind the scenes
In the United States, the California Labor Commission has ruled that a San Francisco Uber driver is a company employee, not a contractor. Uber is appealing this ruling, that would increase the company’s costs and liabilities, to the state’s court system. A hearing for a class certification of a similar lawsuit against Uber is scheduled for August 2015.(NPR)(Time Magazine)
Apple Music changes policy after Taylor Swift stand –
Apple Music has reversed its payment policy, a day after the singer Taylor Swift said she was refusing to allow the company to stream her album 1989. In an open letter to Apple, Swift said she was withholding the record as she was unhappy with the three-month free trial offered to subscribers. Now Apple says it will pay artists for music streamed during trial periods. “We hear you @taylorswift13 and indie artists. Love, Apple,” tweeted executive Eddy Cue. Mr Cue said he did not know if the Shake It Off singer would now make her album available on Apple Music – but he praised her for taking a stand. “When I woke up this morning and I saw Taylor’s note that she had written, it really solidified that we needed to make a change,” he told Associated Press. [BBC] Eddie Cue Tweet
Skinny jeans given health warning –
A 35-year-old woman had to be cut out of a pair after her calves ballooned in size, they described in the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry. She had spent hours squatting to empty cupboards for a house move in Australia. By evening, her feet were numb and she found it hard to walk. Doctors believe the woman developed a condition called compartment syndrome, made worse by her skinny jeans. Compartment syndrome is a painful and potentially serious condition caused by bleeding or swelling within an enclosed bundle of muscles – in this case, the calves. The condition caused the woman to trip and fall and, unable to get up, she then spent several hours lying on the ground. [BBC]
Vine’s Carter Reynolds pressures his ex for oral sex in leaked video –
An x-rated video of Vine star Carter Reynolds leaked Sunday that purportedly shows him pressuring his ex-girlfriend for oral sex, raising issues of consent and spurring Internet backlash. The video is filmed from Reynolds’ point of view, with his pants pulled down and his erect penis exposed. His ex-girlfriend, Instagram celeb Maggie Lindemann, tells him “I don’t think I can” and repeatedly stresses “I am really uncomfortable.” Reynolds tells her to “do it,” and “just pretend (the camera) isn’t there.” Lindemann eventually curls up and stops looking at the camera. It ends with Reynolds saying, “Oh my gosh, Maggie.” Lindemann is 16 years old, and Reynolds recently turned 19, leaving issues of consent and statutory rape on the table depending when and where the clip was filmed, as well as child pornography issues depending on how old Reynolds is in the video. [Daily Dot] “Carter” tops Twitter trends Worldwide – See Top Twitter Trends below Carter Reynolds Tweet @Carterreynolds
At least 20 people are killed after a female suicide bomber attacks a fish market in Nigeria’s north-eastern city of Maiduguri. The militant Islamist group Boko Haram is suspected to be behind the attack. (BBC)
Canada helicopter sex chat heard by Winnipeg public –
Canadian police have apologised after an explicit conversation was inadvertently broadcast from one of its helicopters. Whilst on patrol over Winnipeg, the chopper’s crew accidentally turned on its loudspeaker allowing members of the public below to hear them. Those listening say they heard pilots swearing and discussing oral sex. The officers were unaware that the loudspeaker was on due to the noise from the helicopter’s engine. Winnipeg Police Service say some of the “conversation was inappropriate” and have promised an internal review. [BBC]
5 Seconds of Summer fans go wild for ‘Doge Family’ hashtag after band change their Twitter profiles –
5SOS have changed their Twitter names and profile and the most bizarre hashtag is now trending. Fans have been tweeting #DogeFamily after the stars put up a photograph of a dog as their main images and changed their names, leaving us all asking: “WHAT IS GOING ON?!?” Well, we did some digging and found that ‘Doge’ is a internet meme based upon pictures of a Shiba Inus, and a slang word for dog. [Daily Mirror] See Top Twitter Trends below. @SOS Twitter
An end to email shame? Gmail’s ‘Undo Send’ comes to the masses –
“Today we’re adding ‘Undo Send’ as a formal setting in Gmail on the web,”explained Google in a blog post as the change went live. The feature, which can prevent massive social embarrassment and help avoid long chats with the HR department about what you just mistakenly sent to a colleague, is to be a standard part of Google’s webmail. It can be turned on from within Gmail’s settings menu and enables people to set a “cancellation period” of five, 10, 20 or 30 seconds after sending any email, during which they can call it back. The feature has been available in Gmail’s experimental Labs settings for some time, and was recently added to the company’s Inbox mobile email app – so many of Gmail’s more tech-savvy users will have set it up already. [The Guardian]
Reddit celebrates its 10th birthday with a ton of wacky stats –
It’s been 10 years since Reddit first launched – basically an eternity in Web time – and it’s celebrating its birthday by looking back at its history, as well as some statistics on where the platform is today. In the ten years since its inception, Reddit has garnered over 16 billion upvotes, compared to ‘just’ 2.6 billion downvotes. It’s kind of nice to know that in a platform often infamous for its trolls, more feedback has been positive than negative. There have also been 190 millions posts, 64 percent of which are links. On these posts, there have been 1.7 billion comments, of which 0.36 percent have mentioned cats. That’s over 6 million cat comments. [The Next Web] See List of the Day
Video of the Day –
Lexus has created a real, rideable hoverboard
List of the Day –
Statistics from the first 10 years of Reddit [Reddit]
10 years, 0 months, 0 days
(ok, fine, technically it’s 9 years, 11 months, 30 days, 22 hours, and 16 minutes at time of posting this at 10 am PDT)
(also 5,258,776 minutes, 87,646 hours, 3651 days, or 521 weeks)
(and 2,563,574,752 downvotes)
(.36% of which mention cats)
334,626,161 monthly page views per Reddit engineer
Avengers star Patrick Macnee dies –
Actor Patrick Macnee, star of The Avengers TV series, has died in California at the age of 93. The Briton, best known for playing John Steed in the 1960s television spy series, died at home with his family at his bedside, his son Rupert said. Macnee also played roles in theatre, appearing on Broadway, and served in the Royal Navy during World War Two. A statement on the actor’s website read: “Wherever he went, he left behind a trove of memories.” He died peacefully at his home in California’s Rancho Mirage. [BBC] See List of the Day below Patrick Macnee in Lobster man from Mars
Clint Dempsey gets two-year US cup ban for outburst –
Clint Dempsey has been banned from the US Open Cup for two years after ripping up a referee’s notebook during a game. The Seattle Sounders forward, 33, flicked the notebook out of Daniel Radford’s hand, picked it up off the pitch and then tore it into pieces after a team-mate had been sent off. The ex-Fulham and Spurs man was duly sent off, as Seattle ended with seven men in a 3-1 loss to Portland Timbers. The US captain is banned for six games or two years – whichever is longer. [BBC] Clint Dempsey
France cracks down on Uber service after protests –
France’s interior minister has ordered a ban on the low-cost car-sharing service UberPOP after a day of nationwide protests by taxi drivers. Bernard Cazeneuve said the service was “illegal” and ordered police and prosecutors to enforce its closure. His announcement followed a day of sometimes violent protests by French taxi drivers, who say the US-based firm Uber is stealing their livelihoods. [BBC]
US spy chief James Clapper says China lead suspect in cyber hack –
China is the “leading suspect” in the massive hack of a US government agency holding the personnel records of millions of Americans, US intelligence chief James Clapper has said. He is the highest-ranking US official to publicly implicate Beijing since news of the data breach emerged. China always dismissed suggestions that it was behind the hacking. The statement comes after three days of high-level talks in which China and the US agreed to a “code of conduct”. “China remains the leading suspects,” said Mr Clapper at a conference in Washington DC, but “the US government continues to investigate” he added, according to his office. James_R._Clapper, US intelligence Chief
Sam Smith best new artist at BET Awards as Nicki Minaj wins rap prize –
Sam Smith has won best new artist at this year’s BET Awards in LA. He wasn’t at the Black Entertainment Television ceremony, so the prize was picked up for him by actor Anthony Anderson. Nicki Minaj, who won her sixth best female hip-hop artist award in a row, brought her mum onstage. Rapping on top of a police car with a large American flag waving behind him, hip-hop star Kendrick Lamar kicked off the BET Awards. He later won best male hip-hop artist. Janet Jackson was honoured with the ultimate icon award as she made a rare public appearance. [BBC Newsbeat] See List of the Day below Nicki Minaj
SpaceX Rocket Falls Apart on Way to Space Station –
An unmanned cargo ship destined for the International Space Station disintegrated minutes after being launched from the Cape Canaveral Air Force Station in Florida on Sunday morning, NASA said, raising questions about how the agency and its partners will continue keeping the station supplied. It was the third loss of a cargo ship headed to the space station in the past eight months. However, NASA officials said they had prepared for such a mishap, and do not anticipate any major disruptions to the operations of the space station. The countdown had proceeded without a hitch or worries about weather, and the 208-foot-tall Falcon 9 rocket, built by Space Exploration Technologies, better known as SpaceX, lifted off at 10:21 a.m. But 2 minutes, 19 seconds later, just as George Diller, the commentator during a NASA television broadcast said, “Data coming back shows vehicle on course, on track,” a white cloud emerged from the rocket’s midsection. Moments later, a rain of debris started falling toward the Atlantic Ocean more than 20 miles below. [NY Times] See Video of the Day
Greek debt crisis: Banks to remain shut all week –
The Greek government has confirmed that banks will be closed all week, after a decision by the European Central Bank not to extend emergency funding. In a decree, it cited the “extremely urgent” need to protect the financial system due to the lack of liquidity. Cash withdrawals will be limited to €60 (£42; $66) a day for this period, the decree says. Talks between Greece and the eurozone countries over bailout terms ended without an agreement on Saturday, and Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras then called a surprise referendum on the issue to be held on 5 July. Greece risks default and moving closer to a possible exit from the 19-member eurozone. [BBC]
Video of the Day –
SpaceX Falcon 9 Explosion – June 28th 2015
List of the Day –
Black Entertainment Television Awards 2015 winners
Ultimate Icon, Music Dance Visual Award: Janet Jackson Humanitarian Award: Tom Joyner Best New Artist: Sam Smith Best Female Hip-Hop Artist: Nicki Minaj Best Male Hip-Hop Artist: Kendrick Lamar Best Female R&B/Pop Artist: Beyoncé Best Male R&B/Pop Artist: Chris Brown Best International Act UK: Stormzy Best International Act Africa: Stonebwoy Best Group: Rae Sremmurd Best Collaboration: Common & John Legend, “Glory” Best Actress: Taraji P. Henson Best Actor: Terrence Howard Youngstars Award: Mo’ne Davis Best Movie: Selma Best Gospel Artist: Lecrae Video of the Year: Beyoncé, “7/11” Video Director of the Year: Beyoncé, Ed Burke & Todd Tourso Sportswoman of the Year: Serena Williams Sportsman of the Year: Stephen Curry Coca-Cola Viewers’ Choice Award: Nicki Minaj f/ Drake, Lil’ Wayne & Chris Brown, “Only” Centric Award: The Weeknd, “Earned It” Fandemonium Award: Chris Brown Lifetime Achievement Award: Smokey Robinson
South Korea spy kills himself amid hacking scandal –
An employee of South Korea’s National Intelligence Service (NIS) spying agency has been found dead in his car after apparently taking his own life on a mountain road, police say. His death comes as a scandal over phone-hacking gathers pace. The man left a suicide note admitting that he had deleted important information about the hacking. It has emerged that mobile phones were tracked and monitored just before the presidential election in 2012. [BBC]
North Korean elections – not too close to call –
Worker’s Party expected to fare well in polls this Sunday with only one name on ballot paper and punishment for anyone who fails to endorse Kim Jong-un’s policies. To indicate support for the approved candidate, the voter goes into a booth and carries out his democratic duty. Anyone who does not agree with the name on the ballot paper must go to a different booth and cross out the candidate’s name. With the every move closely scrutinised, it would be an act of extreme bravery in a nation that is not known for tolerating dissenting voices for that to happen. [Daily Telegraph] Kim Jong-un (sketch)
Bratz are back after Barbie owner fails to kill franchise –
After almost a decade of a back-and-forth legal battle between Mattel and Bratz-owner MGA, the spunky dolls are back and ready to take on an already weak Barbie. Years before toys of Frozen characters knocked Barbie off her perennial perch, a gaggle of ethnically-diverse fashionistas known as Bratz temporarily toppled the word-famous doll – and now they’re back after winning a protracted legal battle with Barbie-owner Mattel.
Bratz, which first came to market in 2001, is relaunching this weekend with a revamped look, an extra character and new range of accessories in an attempt to regain its place at the top of toytown. [Daily Telegraph]
In a failed suicide blast, a security guard intercepted a suicide bomber clad in female clothing attempting to enter Quetta’s Hazara town, who then detonated their device that contained 6 to 7 Kg of explosive material, killing themselves and the guard. (Dawn).
Usain Bolt beats Justin Gatlin to win world 100m title –
Usain Bolt produced perhaps his greatest performance of all as he put a troubled build-up behind him to beat two-time doper and clear favourite Justin Gatlin to retain his world 100m title. The controversial Gatlin came into the final on a 28-race unbeaten run and apparently relishing his role as the sport’s bad guy. But at the same Bird’s Nest stadium in Beijing where Bolt announced himself to the world with two Olympic golds and two world records in 2008, the Jamaican superstar came past a faltering Gatlin at the death to snatch victory by one hundredth of a second. Bolt’s 9.79 seconds was more than two tenths off his world record, but this was a night for athletics to celebrate victories rather than times. [BBC] See List of the Day Usain Bolt
Banksy’s ‘Dismaland’ in England: It’s a Strange World, After All –
WESTON-SUPER-MARE, England — Rain pelted down for much of Sunday afternoon on this drooping beachside resort town where “Dismaland,” the gloomy anti-Disneyland created by the artist Banksy, opened this weekend. “Dismaland,” a satirical take on a theme park, features grumpy guards, funereal theme park games and art by about 60 artists — including Banksy, Damien Hirst and Jenny Holzer. The exhibition had a “locals” day on Friday and opened to the public on Saturday; it runs through late September. The exhibition came largely as a surprise: Members of the British news media had spotted construction at the exhibition site — the abandoned grounds of a former family swimming pool — early last week, and had begun to speculate on what was taking place there. The exhibition includes new and old artwork by Banksy, including a pool with mobile boats full of figurine immigrants in what apparently is the English Channel, and a mural-style work in the his signature silhouette style, which shows a fat cat in a suit gorging himself while a gaunt woman with children stands across from him. [NY Times] Logo_of_Dismaland
Met Office loses multi-million pound BBC weather contract –
The Met Office has lost its lucrative weather forecasting contract with the BBC after nearly a century of providing the service. Negotiations to renew the deal hit a dead end and a new firm is expected to take over next year. The BBC said it was legally required to open up the contract to outside competition and secure the best value for money for licence fee payers. Dutch and New Zealand firms are said to be in the running for the contract, which is believed to make up a sizeable share of the £32.5 million a year the Met Office receives from commercial organisations, according to the Mail on Sunday. [Daily Telegraph] See Top Twitter Trends
Mel Gibson accused of pushing female photographer –
Oscar-winning actor Mel Gibson has been accused of pushing a female photographer in Sydney. The Daily Telegraph’s Kristi Miller told Australian media she was pushed and verbally abused while taking pictures of Gibson and his girlfriend. She alleges Gibson’s tirade ended when his partner, 24-year-old US equestrian vaulter Rosalind Ross, intervened. “I thought he was going to punch me in the face,” Ms Miller said. “He was spitting in my face as he was yelling.” Police confirmed they are investigating reports a female photographer was pushed outside a cinema on Sunday night. [BBC] Gibson swore at a TV journalist in February 2010. Mel Gibson
Italian woman, 46, arrested for locking ‘toy boy’ in basement over sex demands –
An Italian woman has been arrested after allegedly locking up her “toy boy” boyfriend for refusing to have sex with her, in a story that has evoked comparisons with the classic film The Graduate. The woman, 46, who was divorced, met the 25-year-old during a holiday romance in Campania in southern Italy. Initially they got on well but the young man reportedly became increasingly vexed by the amount of sex that the older woman was demanding. He declined her advances on several occasions but she then took revenge by locking him up, against his will, in the basement of her house at Arzano, near Naples. The young man managed to raise the alarm, calling for help from passers-by. [Daily Telegraph]
George Clooney photobombs Cindy Crawford as she takes romantic selfie with husband –
Does anyone enjoy looking at “romantic selfies” of couples kissing on Instagram? It’s worse than a public display of affection (PDA), as it is done purely to show off how in love you are with the person you’re smooching. Cindy Crawford and her husband Rande Gerber were taking a tender selfie together, when George Clooney decided to ruin it by pulling a strange face in the background. [Daily Telegraph] Cindy Crawford Instagram with Rande Gerber and George Clooney
International bridge champions accuse teammates of cheating –
Two Israeli men, Lotan Fisher and Ron Schwartz, have been accused by their team mates of cheating in three matches including the Spingold tournament – one of the most famous of all.
A triumphant team of bridge players has been ripped apart by accusations that would, in the words of the whistleblower, “even make a Hollywood movie surreal.” Two Israeli men, Lotan Fisher and Ron Schwartz, have been accused by their team mates of cheating. Quite how they cheated is unclear, but Norwegian bridge professional Boye Brogeland, one of the world’s highest-rated bridge players, said the other four members of the team were handing back three titles they had won together. [Daily Telegraph]
South Africa’s ‘Blade Runner’ Pistorius starts community service –
South Africa’s “Blade Runner” Oscar Pistorius on Saturday started performing community service as part of his parole conditions after being released from prison last month, local media reported. The Paralympic gold medalist was freed on parole less than a year into a five-year sentence for the “culpable homicide” of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, who he killed on Valentine’s Day in 2013. Pistorius, dubbed “Blade Runner” because of the carbon fiber prosthetic blades he uses to compete, was freed from prison in line with sentencing guidelines that say non-dangerous prisoners should spend only a sixth of a custodial sentence behind bars. [Reuters] Pistorius was originally refused early release in August 2015 Oscar Pistorius competing
A Syrian passport is found near the body of one of the gunmen who died in Friday’s attacks in Paris. The holder passed through the Greek island of Leros on October 3 as a refugee, according to Greek officials. A Greek police source said the passport’s owner was a young man who had arrived in Leros with a group of 69 refugees and had his fingerprints taken by authorities there. Police declined to give his name. (Reuters)(ABC News Australia)
Poland‘s recently elected government led by Law and Justice (PiS), declares it will no longer accept EU-mandate quotas for refugees following the terrorist attacks in France. (RT)
A U.S. airstrike on a compound in the Libyan port city of Derna is said to have killed Wisam al Zubaidi, also known as Abu Nabil al-Anbari, who commands the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant‘s branch in Libya. A Pentagon official, speaking on condition of anonymity to discuss details of the operation, said the airstrike involved F-15 aircraft and was believed to have killed Zubaidi. He said the attack had been planned for some time. (The Washington Post)(BBC)
Scott N. Johansen, a UtahJuvenile Court judge, reverses his original order to remove a foster child from same sex-parents. The state Division of Child and Family Services and foster parents all filed motions asking for the reconsideration and promising an appeal. The new decision eliminates the phrase, “It is not in the best interest of children to be raised by same-sex couples” and strikes an order for the child to be placed with a non-same-sex couple. (New York Times)
Super Bowl 50: Denver Broncos beat Carolina Panthers –
The Denver Broncos produced a defensive masterclass to upset the Carolina Panthers 24-10 and win Super Bowl 50. Carolina were heavy favourites, having lost only once all season and with the league’s Most Valuable Player of the season Cam Newton at quarterback. But Newton was smothered by the Broncos defence and gave up three turnovers, including one that led to a touchdown. That helped Denver, quarterbacked by veteran Peyton Manning, open a 10-0 lead early on and they never lost it. It had been rumoured the game would be 39-year-old Manning’s last, but he said afterwards he would “take time to reflect”. [BBC]
Coldplay and Beyonce star in half-time show –
British group Coldplay were the main performers at the half-time and they were joined by Beyonce, Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson. Coldplay opened the show by singing ‘Yellow’ and ‘Viva La Vida’ as children carrying multi-coloured umbrellas and violins streamed onto the pitch. Mars and Ronson performed their hit ‘Uptown Funk’, before Beyonce sang her new song ‘Formation’. The artists closed the show by performing a mash-up of Coldplay’s hit ‘Fix You’ and Beyonce’s ‘Crazy In Love’. [BBC]
Twitter suspends 125,000 ‘terrorism’ accounts –
Twitter says it has suspended more than 125,000 accounts since mid-2015 “for threatening or promoting terrorist acts”. In a blog, the US-based firm said the accounts “primarily related to ISIS” (the so-called Islamic State group). “We condemn the use of Twitter to promote terrorism,” it said, adding that it had increased its report reviewing teams to react faster. Twitter has more than 500 million users around the world. [BBC]
Video of the Day –
“NFL 2016: PART TWO” — A Bad Lip Reading of the NFL
Japan‘s NHK news reports the rocket passed over the southern Japanese island of Okinawa. Japanese Prime Minister, Shinzō Abe, condemns the launch and says, “We absolutely cannot allow this. We will take action to totally protect the safety and well-being of our people”. The Japanese government says no rocket debris fell on Japanese territory and there are no reports of damage. The rocket reportedly falls into waters southwest of Jeju Island. (ABC News), (Yonhap)
South Korea’s intelligence agency claims that North Korea is preparing for another nuclear test. (Yonhap)
Ronnie Corbett, best known for The Two Ronnies, dies aged 85 –
Entertainer Ronnie Corbett, best known for BBC comedy sketch show The Two Ronnies, has died aged 85. His publicist said: “Ronnie Corbett CBE, one of the nation’s best-loved entertainers, passed away this morning, surrounded by his loving family. “They have asked that their privacy is respected at this very sad time.” Corbett was one of the UK’s best-loved comedians and along with Ronnie Barker, their double act was one of the most successful of the 1970s and ’80s. [BBC] See Video and List of the Day Ronnie Corbett in 2010
Video of the Day –
The Two Ronnies. Four Candles
List of the Day –
Ronnie Corbett’s best jokes
A man was marooned on a desert island. One day a beautiful woman arrives in a wet suit. ‘When did you last have a smoke?’ she asks. ‘Five years ago.’ So she gets out a cigar and he smokes it. She unzips her wet suit a bit and says, ‘When did you last have a drink?’ He said, ‘Five years ago.’ So she gets out a bottle of Scotch and he has a drink. Then she unzips her wet suit a bit more and says, ‘And when was the last time you played around?’ He looks at her in amazement and says: ‘You’re not telling me you’ve got a set of golf clubs in there?’
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston by-pass. Motorists are asked to be on the look-out for 16 hardened criminals.
We will be talking to an out of work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.
There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my right hand.
For some time, my wife’s had this ridiculous idea that I’m playing too much golf. Actually, it came to a head at about 11.30 last night. She suddenly shouted at me: “Golf, golf, golf. All you ever think about is bloody golf!”. And I’ll be honest, it frightened the life out of me. I mean, you don’t expect to meet somebody on the 14th green at that time of night.
This is a message for seven honeymoon couples in a hotel in Peebles: Breakfast was served three days ago.
French wine growers fear that this year’s vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the grape treaders’ sit-in.
West Mercia police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but the chief constable said they must wear their normal uniforms.
It was revealed in a government survey published today that the prime minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy.
We’ll be talking to a car designer who’s crossed a Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame.
After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he is looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn’t find him, he’s going to use both eyes.
We’ve just heard that in the English Channel, a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned.
A grandfather has gone missing after eating four cans of baked beans, two cauliflowers and a jar of gherkins. His family have made an emotional appeal for him not to come home for at least a fortnight.
Today is our anniversary. It’s just 12 years ago today when she said “I do”. It certainly surprised me, because I didn’t think she did.
That was the night when I leapt onto the dancefloor and did my rather racy impression of John Travolta. I suppose it must have been the animal in me. Well, I had a ferret down my trousers.
This new controller thinks I am the funniest man in Britain. He’s been told to stay in bed and take things easy for a while.
I remember that day clearly, because it was the one day there wasn’t a sale at Allied Carpets.
This joke dates back to 256 BC which, as scholars of ancient Egypt will know, was the year of the famous wildcat strike by the amalgamated union of eunuchs and allied sopranos, in a dispute over severance pay.
Since the last joke, I’d like to thank all those of you who have written in with suggestions about what I can do with my act, one or two of you with diagrams.
Offers of work have been flooding in. Last week I was invited to go on a round-the-world cruise. By the chairman of the Flat Earth Society.
This week I was asked to do a very important after-dinner speech. I said: “Do you want me to be funny?” They said: “No, just be yourself.”
A Malaysian court dismisses Malaysia Airlines’s bid to throw out a lawsuit filed by relatives of three people who went missing on Flight 370. The company argued that the disappearance of MH370 on March 8, 2014, occurred before the company came into existence as Malaysia Airlines Berhad (MAB) on September 1, 2015, and therefore has no liability to relatives. The court ruled MAB’s liability would be determined in a trial. (UPI)(Malay Mail)
Panama Papers: Iceland PM Sigmundur Gunnlaugsson resigns –
Iceland’s prime minister has resigned – the first major casualty of the leaked Panama Papers that have shone a spotlight on offshore finance. The leaks, from Panama-based law firm Mossack Fonseca, showed Sigmundur Gunnlaugsson owned an offshore company with his wife but had not declared it when he entered parliament. He is accused of concealing millions of dollars’ worth of family assets. Mr Gunnlaugsson says he sold his shares to his wife, and denies any wrongdoing. He is one of dozens of high-profile global figures mentioned in the 11.5 million leaked financial and legal records, which were first published on Sunday. [BBC] Sigmundur Gunnlaugsson
Doncaster Rovers fans angry at 1D star Louis Tomlinson’s competition win –
Doncaster Rovers fans have reacted angrily to One Direction star Louis Tomlinson and his grandfather winning a competition to design the football club’s new away kit. The club revealed the ‘Story Of My Life’ singer was behind the design on Monday after the poll had closed. In the wake of the announcement some fans have criticised the club and questioned the credibility of the vote. Doncaster Rovers say the voting process “was all was fair and above board”. Writing on Twitter one fan said: “I wonder if the vote was rigged or that shirt actually won??? #drfc.” [BBC] Louis Tomlinson
Pfizer Inc. decides to terminate its $160 billion merger with Allergan, Plc as officials in Washington crack down on corporate inversions. Pfizer will need to pay a $400 million fee to Allergan for expenses relating to the deal. (Bloomberg)
Due to concerns about an increasingly anti-Mexican climate across the border, Mexico unexpectedly changes two of its top officials responsible for U.S. relations. Foreign MinisterClaudia Ruiz Massieutold local media, “We have been warning that our citizens have begun to feel a more hostile climate. This (anti-Mexican) rhetoric has made it clear that we have to act in a different way so that this tendency being generated doesn’t damage the bilateral relationship.” (Reuters)
Peruvians protest in five cities, including the capital Lima, against the presidential candidacy of Keiko Fujimori, daughter of imprisoned ex-president Alberto Fujimori, who exactly 24 years ago this day carried out a coup by shutting down Congress and taking over the courts with the support of the military. Keiko Fujimori is the front runner in Sunday’s April 10, 2016, election. Yesterday, Fujimori committed to respect democratic liberties and the rule of law, and to work against corruption, which some opponents have rejected. The Organization of American States says the election could lack credibility unless two recently-disqualified candidates are allowed to run. (NBC News)(AP via The Washington Post)(Prensa Latina)
Rangers F.C., the association football club with the most domestic league titles in the world, earn promotion to the Scottish Premiership, returning to the nation’s top division for the first time since their triple relegation for financial reasons in 2012. (BBC Sport)
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US ready to ‘hand over’ the internet’s naming system –
The US has confirmed it is finally ready to cede power of the internet’s naming system, ending the almost 20-year process to hand over a crucial part of the internet’s governance. The Domain Naming System, DNS, is one of the internet’s most important components. It pairs the easy-to-remember web addresses – like bbc.com – with their relevant servers. Without DNS, you’d only be able to access websites by typing in its IP address, a series of numbers such as “184.108.40.206”. More by circumstance than intention, the US has always had ultimate say over how the DNS is controlled – but not for much longer. It will give up its power fully to Icann – the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers – a non-profit organisation. The terms of the change were agreed upon in 2014, but it wasn’t until now that the US said it was finally satisfied that Icann was ready to make the change. Icann will get the “keys to the kingdom”, as one expert put it, on 1st October 2016. From that date, the US will lose its dominant voice – although Icann will remain in Los Angeles. Icann was created in 1998 to take over the task of assigning web addresses. Until that point, that job was handled by one man – Jon Postel. He was known to many as the “god of the internet”, a nod to his power over the internet, as well as his research work in creating some of the systems that underpin networking. [BBC] Jon Postel in 2008