Top News Stories –

Fifty Shades of Grey tying firemen up in knots –
The film version of the erotic novel “Fifty Shades of Grey” starring Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson premières in London and the London Fire Brigade are expecting a “spike” in people being stuck or trapped in handcuffs or rings. In November, firefighters were called by doctors at King’s College Hospital to cut two steel rings from a man’s genitals, which he had been unable to remove for three days and the brigade was called by a woman whose husband had become locked in a chastity belt.
Jamie Dornan at the world première of “Fifty Shades of Grey”
Double decker bus saves naked man from fire –

A man trapped in a house fire in Braintree, Essex UK may have had his life saved after a bus driver managed to manoeuvre his double decker bus close enough for the man to jump onto the roof. The man had been taking a shower and jumped from the third-floor window naked onto the bus. After throwing him some clothes the man managed to climb down with minor injuries.

Bonham Carter strips for fish –
Helena Bonham Carter has also got naked and hugged a 27kg tuna between her legs despite claiming to have a fish phobia. The photoshoot was in aid of a Blue Marine Foundation campaign against over-fishing. Bonham Carter separated from her partner Tim Burton on December 24th 2014.
Helena Bonham Carter

Video of the Day –

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer

List of the day –

Fifty questions the Huffington Post had about the film Fifty Shades of Grey

1. Why does Jamie Dornan look so bored the whole time?
2. Are pencils always phallic?
3. Is it really appropriate for a journalism student to make her roommate do an interview for her?
4. Couldn’t Ana’s roommate have just done a phone interview? Or Skyped?
5. Why do people keep taking Ana’s food?
6. Why do Ana and Christian leave the beautiful sushi that was served to them untouched?
7. What is on the “pre-approved list of foods” mentioned in Ana and Christian’s contract?
8. But, seriously, does anyone in this movie actually eat?
9. Is the real problem that they’re just“hangry”?
10. Can Ana name a Black Keys song, or does she just wear a Black Keys T-shirt for the street cred?
11. How many graphic tees can one college girl own?
12. What was her thesis about?
13. Why does Ana have a flip phone?
14. Why won’t Christian buy Ana a better phone, but he’ll buy her a Macbook? (Like, seriously, girl needs some apps and some iMessage.)
15. Should we start using “Do you sell cable ties” as a pickup line?
16. Do you really need to tell someone “you’re not the woman for me” after having one cup of coffee?
17. How do Ana and her roommate afford such a nice apartment?
18. Do they have jobs?
19. Has anyone else in the history of the world been that excited to go to Seattle?
20. Is the Seattle tourism bureau celebrating the sexy rep this movie has brought to their rainy city?
21. Why is Ana’s inbox completely empty except for three emails from Christian?
22. What actually comes up when you Google “submissive”? *Immediately googles “submissive.”*
23. Is saying “No escaping now,” supposed to be murdery or sexy?
24. Where is the line between “making love” and “f**king hard”?
25. Why would anyone have a business meeting in the dark? Editing contracts under mood lighting might seem sexier, but it would also make it impossible to read words.
26. How does Christian know what bar Ana is at with her friends — and which restaurant she’s at with her mom?
27. Is he telepathic?
28. Does Christian break into Ana’s apartment after she breaks up with him? (Because… creepy.)
29. Isn’t losing your virginity generally an awkward experience — especially when a man is ramming into you with disturbingly little foreplay?
30. Why aren’t there more movies that show female pubic hair, leg hair and arm hair? (Spoiler alert: It exists! And we actually see a bit of it in “Fifty Shades.”)
31. Since when is it acceptable (or romantic) to surprise sell someone’s car?
32. Why are we allowed to see so much boob and so little dick in R-rated movies? Huh, MPAA? We’re lookin’ at you.
33. Is riding in a glider super fun… Or is it exactly how you die?
34. Can Marcia Gay Harden be our mom?
35. How much wine can one really baby-bird feed to another person? (Seems wasteful… and sticky.)
36. Should we insist on being carried out of the bedroom like a wounded animal and/or Ariana Grande after having sex?
37. Did Jamie Dornan have a butt double?
38. If so, can we have his number? If not… well done, sir.
39. Does anyone even drink Cosmos anymore? They’re oh-so “Sex and the City.”
40. Is “Laters, baby” the world’s least sexy sign-off?
41. Has any real person ever said “Laters, baby”? (If so… never do it again.)
42. How exactly does one become “50 shades of f**ked up”?
43. Where did Christian learn to fishtail braid?
44. Which is a better arm workout: Blowdrying your hair or being cuffed to the ceiling?
45. Can being stroked with a riding crop really make someone cum?
46. Are we really supposed to believe that BDSM is only for people who have tragic backstories? Because that’s bullsh*t.
47. Can Beyoncé sing in the background every time we have sex from now on?
48. But, actually, where can we purchase the “Fifty Shades” soundtrack?
49. Just how awkward was it to film this movie?
50. And most importantly… Will Ana actually eat solid FOOD in the sequel?

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Other News Stories –

Armed conflicts and attacks

• War in Donbass
  • The President of Russia Vladimir Putin announces the third peace agreement. (AP)(Euronews)
• Yemeni Civil War
  • Fighters from the Al-Qaeda affiliated Ansar al-Sharia take control of an army base in southern Yemen. (Reuters viaDaily Times)

Arts and culture

• Reporters without Borders’s annual review finds “(t)here was a drastic decline in freedom of information in 2014″ because of information wars and action by non-state groups. (Reporters without Borders) (The Daily Star (Lebanon))

Business and economy

• The National Retail Federation worries as products languish on ships and docks at western U.S. ports as negotiations continue between the International Longshore and Warehouse Union and the Pacific Maritime Association. (AP)
• Online travel and leisure booking website Expedia announces plans to buy rival Orbitz for $1.3 billion. (Christian Science Monitor)

Law and crime

• Six Taiwanese prisoners commit suicide after releasing hostages captured yesterday in Kaohsiung. The prisoners were protesting their sentences and alleged poor conditions of the Taiwanese prison system. (BBC)
• The FBI launches a hate crime investigation into the February 11 killing of three Muslim students in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. (News Observer)

Politics and elections

• The US Senate confirms Ashton Carter as the 25th Secretary of Defense. (USA Today)
• Julius Malema and members of the Economic Freedom Fighters are forcibly removed from the National Assembly of South Africa during President Jacob Zuma‘s State of the Nation address. Times Live SABC

Science and technology

• A large meteorite falls in northern New Zealand. kelownanow.com stuff.co.nz

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